Primitive

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Primitive but calm, free but restrained.

Spiritual and physical, wild and untamed.

 

Light of the daytime, darkness of midnight

War within my soul, sunlight and moonlight.

 

Animal and human, two factions collide.

Joy, fear and tears on each twisted side.

 

Predator and prey, free and unchained.

Pain and pleasure. Crazy and sane.

 

Give me forever and never. Sight, sound, touch.

Taste the blood from my flesh, not enough yet too much.

 

Dead and alive, awake and asleep,

Give me something that I can keep.

Tears of fire burn my tongue.

Taste them with me, a song never sung.

 

Desire and fear, lightning and thunder

In my soul — eyes of wonder.

Trees in a desert, safety and danger,

Storms on the sea, dreams from the air.

 

Cold wind in my soul making me sweat.

I’m falling to earth without a net.

 

Wolves, tigers and lions, the heart of the predator.

Lambs to the slaughter, the prey to pray for.

 

A world of sensation, heaven and hell.

Neither, or both, a tainted well.

Time and timeless, together, alone.

Exotic and caged. Blood and bone.

 

Wild drum for a heart, beating hard.

Broken and twisted, whole and scarred.

Innocence and experience bond freely.

Exquisitely beautiful and primitive,

                                                                          Like me.

Faux News attacks Pagans

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So by now, you may have already heard this but THIS piece of trash aired Friday on Faux News. In this piece of tripe, they are discussing the University of Missouri’s posting of pagan holy days. They generalized Pagans and Wiccans as “Playing Dungeons and Dragons” and “middle aged, twice divorced women” etc etc. Now, initially, this irked me. I’m not Wiccan but I am Pagan, having chosen to follow the Native American path of my ancestors (and NONE of the holidays listed in this named document have ANYTHING to do with Native Americans). So I passed around the link on Facebook etc but few of my Pagan friends seemed to be very upset. All of them understood that this was “Faux News” and they do these things all the time. As I said, I was irked because the people watching this tripe are NOT Pagans and now have a view of us that is untrue. But I blew it off as well.

Today, my husband turns on Faux News and what’s on? Megyn Kelly having a VERY similar conversation.  This time they mentioned specific holidays that “any Pagan” could take off and implied that every Pagan would be taking off all 31 days. They specifically mentioned a Hindu holiday as well as Chinese New Year. My head popped….literally popped! I think, in fact I’m pretty sure, that mostly Hindus will be taking Hindu holidays off and only Chinese will be taking Chinese New Year. Are they really clumping all Pagans into one messy pile? Of course they are! It’s neater and easier.  And everyone knows that Faux loves misinformation and making things easy.

I was raised Methodist but I have been Pagan for many, many years. I have been through this same clumping exercise within my own family. In fact, I did not “come out of the broom closet” until about 5 years ago to my own parents. My parents were told separately and they both had the same first reaction — you’re a devil worshipper. This drove me crazy! I tried to patiently help them understand but it still took a long time. In fact, it wasn’t until my mother joined the Lenape tribe in Ohio and saw what I was doing at home reflected in the tribe that she understood. My dad still isn’t sure. My aunt is a hypocritical Christian Pastor and is absolutely positive that I’m going to hell — and I’m fine with that. I’m 42 years old and do not have to justify myself to them. It’s nice that my mother has come to be on the same page but we fought about it for a long time. My point in this is than every serious Pagan has probably had to fight against stereotypes within their own family and friends. Some of us lose family and friends because their view of what we do is crafted by society — and misinformation from places like Faux news.

Some of my friends have asked me why I’m letting this piss me off. It’s because of the fight that we have to wage within our own lives, the people we love and lose because of their false ideas of what we do. This is just more propaganda to feed the fires and it’s sad. It’s sad because new people interested in the various Pagan religions, while there is a greater tolerance on the whole, will still at some point find themselves subject to these lies and misinformations.

Thank you. Peace and Love!

Day

Shampoo or No Poo? 2

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About a week ago, I started using a new shampoo that I made. I found the recipe here. Well, it’s time for an update:

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY HAIR!!! This is the best thing I have ever done for my hair! Now, I have made a few adjustments to this recipe; first, I use unsweetened coconut milk. Second, I use lavender and chamomile for my oils. Lastly, I use Dr. Bronners Baby Mild Castile Soap. Now, the next time I need Castile soap, I’m thinking of buying the Doc Bronners with lavender already in it.

I have to say, my hair is softer than it’s been in many months. It has life and bounce again. I am very happy with the results of this shampoo. I honestly do not feel I will be trying any other recipes. I will later post a picture of how good it looks right now.

There are many other recipes for DIY shampoo and, if this doesn’t work for you then you can keep trying. I know it’s tempting to go back to store bought shampoos but, if you get that urge, just look on the side of the bottles and try to pronounce even half of what’s in them. It’s healthier for your skin and scalp to keep trying DIY shampoos until you find one that’s right for you. If you do some research, you may even be able to come up with your own, personalized recipe.

I will continue to keep you updated on my hair but also, if I find any other recipes, I’ll pass them along. And if you have tried DIY shampoos, or even found one that worked for you, please post about it on here to let everyone know.

Anarchy

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In a circle of spiritual friends

  I stand alone.

       Lonely souls surround me –

 Unknown.

 

 If nothing is certain

 Then know that I feel

   Like a servant at your side –

 Born to kneel.

 

In this half-life I see

Betrayal, denial.

The course of the living ones –

Lives on trial.

 

Then you come to me in a fearless heat

 My own soul will scream to meet

 Beyond pleasure, beyond all control

  To another place –

like anarchy in my soul.

 

    Call me to the spiritual meeting place.

      Rip the flesh – the soul needs no face.

      Join with me, lose your self-control.

    Show me all I haven’t seen –

anarchy in my soul.

 

    Through the mist of time

    Show me passions I’ve never seen.

    I give you my spirit

    Take me where I’ve never been.

 

    Do this for me –

    Lose your self-control.

    Let me show you

     The anarchy in your soul.

Days of Wine and Roses

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Days of wine and roses,

Gone like leaves in a breeze.

A heart in shards like glass

Can’t tell you what it sees.

 

Insanity everywhere I go,

Or maybe it’s just me.

Sepia-toned memories

That won’t let me be.

 

Tears become crystallized,

Even crystal shatters.

Icy fingers invade my heart

And nothing really matters.

 

Everything is gone –

Even time it seems.

My heart and my soul,

Even my very dreams.

 

I don’t sleep anymore,

So I indulge in daymares.

Every sight a darker hell

and I don’t really care.

Shampoo or No-Poo?

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I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m more conscious of what is going ON and IN my body. Consequently, I’ve been making my own, all-natural body and home care items.

About 6 months ago, I took the “no-poo challenge” and started washing my hair with the baking soda mix and conditioning it with the apple cider vinegar mix found here. Once you start using it, there is a transition phase. The sulfates and chemicals in store bought shampoos and conditioners strip your hair of it’s natural oils and it can take up to six weeks for your hair to start producing normally again. Well, my whole family started using it and, at first, it worked well. My husband and son have oily, thick hair and dandruff. I have normal, thin hair, no dandruff. After a few months, my hair started feeling dry and straw-like. My family’s hair was doing just fine. So I thought maybe I could try something else so I tried this from The Modern Herbal site.  Now,  the information on that site is wonderful, but it didn’t work for me. I tried a few different mixtures of it and it always seemed to come out a bit (or more) oily. So the search continued (and I went back to baking soda).

The other day I found this recipe on The Wellness Mama.  I immediately ran out to the store for coconut milk and tried it. I’ve used it twice and, so far, my hair hasn’t been this clean and soft in many moons. My family is still, happily, using the baking soda/vinegar combo and, as long as it works for them, we are all happy. However, I’m going to keep going with this new recipe and I’ll keep you all updated on how it works.

  Going ‘herbal’ may seem like a lot of work to some people but it’s not that difficult. You do not have to throw away your entire medicine cabinet and cleanser cabinet all at once. I thought, when I was working full time, that it was way too much work and I just didn’t have that kind of spare time. But I was wrong. Now that I have more spare time (and less spare money), I realize I should have started doing these things sooner.

So try one thing. Just one thing. You’ll be surprised how many dangerous chemicals you’ll eliminate from your body by just changing one thing. That’s how it starts.

Winter’s Nightmare

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It’s 30 degrees today, a good day to stay inside.

So it’s coffee, me and tv.

Daytime crap, same as ever. Gosh, doesn’t the world miss

Oprah.

Maybe a good book…nah, too much work.

How about a movie?

 

It’s 25 degrees today, good day to stay inside.

So coffee, me and…tv?

Daytime crap, same as ever. Well, SOME of it’s ok.

How about a movie?

 

It’s 28 degrees today, good day to stay inside.

So coffee, me and crap tv.

Some entirely uninteresting urbanite thinks her man is cheating.

Crap-tastic. How about a movie?

 

It’s 18 degrees today, frozen-balls weather! Staying inside!

So, coffee, me and crap tv.

That ain’t his baby!!! Jesus, help me!

All out of movies!

 

It’s 21 degrees today, frozen-balls, ya ya…..

Coffee, me, same old shit.

Sucked into the tv again….

You know, I really need to change the paint in here….

 

It’s 16 degrees today…yeah yeah…blah blah….

Coffee, me, lie-detector tests.

Crap tv.

Should get that paint….

 

17 fucking degrees! Does this shit ever end?

Coffee, crap tv.

Same four walls.

Maybe I’ll take a nap.

 

20 fucking degrees! Come on already!

Coffee, shit tv.

Same four fucking walls!

Same lousy eggshell-colored walls!

 

Fucking COLD outside!

Coffee sucks, tv is shit!

How many fucking channels does this thing get?!

Fucking walls!

 

Don’t care what the temperature is today!

I’m staying the fuck in bed!

DREAMS

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I dream in haunting images,

Nightmarish past-life prophecies.

Are they really nightmares?

Or are they memories?

 

I gaze into a liquid mirror.

I touch it. It feels so cold.

Is it all the mirror’s chill?

Or is it all my own?

 

I run away from a killer’s hand,

Barely escaping chain and mace.

I take a fearful breath.

I turn to confront my own face.

 

There are wings of warmth around me,

So long and cottony white.

I look into the eyes of angels

Surrounded in heavenly light.

 

Someone I love stands beside me

And he holds me when I cry.

We walk into the sunset,

And there we say goodbye.

Musing on Millenia

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Some say it’s the end of the world but,

in truth, just another day.

What makes us different now

Than a thousand years ago?

We still hate for the color of skin.

We still envy for goods we don’t need.

We still turn an act of love into an act of violence.

We still dream. We still fear.

We still cannot accept what we don’t understand.

We still fight for religions we don’t comprehend

And gods we’re not sure exist.

We still turn what’s pure into muck.

We still rape, steal, kill and die.

We still fall in love.

We still dream.

We still wait for revelations that may never come.

We still underestimate the power of the human spirit.

We still long for a happiness we don’t know exists.

We still adore our own vanity.

We still fear.

We still love.

We still dream.

Yet we still hate.